A little about me


Sexy eh??

A podgy lump of grey matter, 0.5 ft tall weighing in at 1.4kg which equates to a BMI of 58. Deathly obese, although I’m working on it.

I’ve been receiving oxygenated blood for over 31 years and have yet to feel the hot sunshine on my back (likely explains my lack of colour) as I’m trapped inside my hosts skull. After several attempts to break free, including an  unfortunate  collision with a concrete bollard I resigned to the fact that I will never explore the world on my own.

Within my bony prison my favourite foods are, glucose (it’s a sweet high) and nicotine (a much more mellow buzz) Together these help me deal with my baggage and the monotonous job of carrying out thousands of calculations simultaneously.

Suppose it’s time to introduce you to my host, the phrase “you can’t choose where your born” comes to mind.

not quite as sexy eh??

His name is Carl, a decision neither of us had any control over. I’ve been disappointed in him since my neurons began firing. I can’t do much about his looks, it’s a genetic thing so I just try to make sure he doesn’t look into too many mirrors.

To say we don’t always see eye to eye is an understatement.  I can’t stand him most of the time and he doesn’t realise I’m his best asset. I’m very rarely used  for anything useful, therefore I blame him for needing copious amounts of glucose and nicotine to keep me stimulated.

So he’s given me this opportunity to have a voice, which is great as I’m sick of the filter I have to go through before I reach his mouth, it’s rather frustrating. Take a look at his own blog, Dynamic Reality which is way too serious for my liking.

Now I really must start scribbling as I have lots to say, don’t forget to read the Terms and Conditions on the next page before you begin being enthralled by my awesome power

FYI Yes I am narcissistic


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